I'm Writing Something Tonight

I could put blame to a lot of things. The grey sky. Too much caffeine. Heavy downpour. Cold nights. Depleted savings. Tired bones. Growing back blogs.  Dusting books. Unwashed laundry. Blue August. Yeah maybe, I could put blame to a lot of things.

I'm introspective tonight so I'm letting out a very spontaneous blog quipped with my usual travel-life-is-good-oh-but-wait-haha ramblings. Pardon me, please.


So how have I been lately? Travel-wise, I'm excellent. I'm very close to completing my 80 before 30 goal -- the one sole impetus that keeps me going and excited lately. It drives me, it pushes me further. As of today, I'm only 5 provinces away from finishing the 80 provinces. And the road map to completing the challenge is clear and paved. There's nothing that could stop me now.

My road trips around the country have taught me so much. The fleeting and quick stops to some of the off-the-tourist trail roads have widen my perspectives about life in general -- how to brush off my personal biases and how to push harder when the going gets immensely tough.  Yep, I reek with ugly biases like how I fear going to Mindanao. But I think that's what travelling does -- to tear down the walls and blocks set up by common notions.

Travelling also makes me think of two things: death and marriage.

I have this weird idea that if I die while riding a ferry boat, what are the chances that I'd be found? Would I lie forever in the abyss --rotten and forgotten? I think of what purpose, if any, did my existence ever serve to humanity? Or would people even show up on my funeral? I'm not suicidal, or anything. I'm happily enjoying life -- embracing even its complexities and absurdities, -- but thoughts about death are real. It will happen to everyone. It's just a question of when or how. So while breathing, live. And not just exist.

I think about marriage, too. But that topic deserves an entirely new post.

My road trips are not entirely as picture-perfect as it may seem. Most of the time, it entails great sacrifices. Like having to take public transport -- being in a van with a poor legroom and busted air-conditioning , having to deal with the ordeal for a good 6 hours (plus the nightmare of seeing pesky crawling and biting insects). Or having to stay in a totally cramped motorboat alongside smelly poultry.  Or to straddle in a butt-numbing ride aboard a habal-habal. Or having to brave a heavy downpour just to get a good photograph. It does gets into me sometimes. It gets to a point wherein I'd ask myself "what the hell am I doing all these for?" But then, I realize that if something that you want does not pain you, does not scare you, maybe it's not worth it. Keep going on every helluva ride.  "Hang on there. Enjoy the ride.," I would tell myself.

And there's the financial downside, too. Although there are some offers, it's a personal decision to keep this blog free from ads and sponsorships. I choose to finance my own travels. I'm a regular office employee who makes both ends meet through careful budgeting. I work really hard to afford these short vacations, to pay my rent and monthly bills, and to feed myself. But I'm not all too concerned about money, not that I'm rich or anything (believe me, I'm far from it), I just want to live by the present, independent. Traveling, of course, is not free but I'm getting by. 

Despite the hustle and bustle of my micro-trips, the rewards are often found at the end of the road. Most of my trips end up in beautiful beaches, with a magnificent sunset, a sumptuous gastronomical experiments, a cool mountain breeze, perfectly wild waterfalls, and most importantly, with the kindness of the people I meet. These are all the precious memories I'll put in my treasure box as soon as I set foot in my 80th province.

I have to end here. I'm not feeling perfect tonight, but some other stuff are better discussed over a warm cup of coffee or a cold cold beer.

Hang on there. Good night.